Room for one more? Bufffff

Get Used To It.

Canuckleheads.

Ready?

Think Luongo's having nightmares about that backhand?

Don't Mess With Duncan

How does that Nashville post-goal song go? I like it, I love it, I want some more of it? Yeah, that's it.

Ovechkin Can Suck It

Ovechkin, you're a real asshole.

NFL DRAFT ROUND 1 WRAP-UP

"He's not an NFL quarterback." - Chad Henne

The NFL Draft brought its show to prime-time and what an interesting first round it was. Lets briefly recap day 1's winners, losers, and other story lines.

WINNERS

Detroit Lions: The Lions got the best player in the draft with Suh at #2 and then picked up Jahvid Best at #30. If I were King, my pick at #30 would have been Dexter McCluster out of Ole Miss, but Best is an every down type RB and a solid choice nonetheless.

Philadelphia Eagles: The Eagles made a smart move by trading up to nab Brandon Graham at #13. I am admittedly a homer, but a homer that at least knows football. The Eagles got the best DE/OLB in the draft. Their Pennsylvanian brethren Steelers can vouch for DE/OLB's out of UMich as Lamarr Woodley continues to tear it up, and I think Graham has the potential to be even better. To further brighten the skies, Colt McCoy and Jimmy Clausen are still on the board. With the departure of Donovan McNabb, the Eagles can grab one of the two QB's left without having to pay 1st round money.

Tampa Bay Bucs: If only for the reason that Gerald McCoy is an absolute stud and might have been the #1 overall pick in a different year. With two picks in the 2nd round the Bucs are on track to get a lot better in this draft.

Buffalo Bills: I love C.J. Spiller, always have, which is difficult because Clemson football is so hideous. I don't know if they plan on trading Marshawn Lynch now, who has made it clear he is not happy in Buffalo, but a Spiller Lynch combo could make the AFC East the best rushing division in the NFL.

San Francisco 49's: Way to stick to your guns. The 49's needed an OL to protect Alex Smith and create holes for Frank Gore and they got it. You build teams from the inside out and the 49's did just that with Anthony Davis out of Rutgers and Mike Iupati from Idaho. It's certainly not the most glamorous of picks, but a long term investment in your OL is about the smartest thing a GM can do.

LOSERS

Denver Broncos: Tim Tebow may end up proving everyone wrong but that will never make selecting him in the 1st round a good pick. 1st round pick = lots of guaranteed money...and for a guy who isn't sure to be an every down QB that is ballsy. The Broncos could have potentially still gotten Tebow with the 13th pick of the 2nd round.

NY Jets: D-U-M-B Dumb! Dumb! Dumb! The Jets could have gone a number of directions, including Sergio Kindle or Everson Griffin, and instead went with a DB when their back 4 is of absolutely 0 concern. Why not go after a pass rusher and solidfy the depth at DB with 2nd or 3rd round picks?

NEITHER HERE NOR THERE

Dallas Cowboys: The Cowboys traded up to get Dez Bryant, the maligned WR from OK State who missed his senior year due to ridiculous Semi-Pro football laws created by the Fuhrer NCAA. Dez was the best WR in college football and would have definitely been a top 15 pick but for his suspension. Me thinks that Jerry Jones got this one right.

WHAT TO WATCH FOR TODAY

It's the NFL draft, if you are a normal male you don't need me to tell you why to watch.

It's Now or Never Gentleman

GAME 4: Tonight 7:30 CST

Toews, Kane, Hossa, Keith, Sharp. Sounds like SEC football, a bunch of names that sound good until you watch them play and realize they aren't. If you watched the Hawks Tuesday night you watched SEC football, Ole Miss vs. Vandy or something.

The Hawks are damn good, but Tuesday night was a disgrace. A bunch of Dwayne Robertson's out there when all I need is a single Fulton Reed. We got pushed around by an inter-divisional team with little talent; one that resides in a state where exactly 14 people care about hockey. The team that all year; had great chemistry, some semblance of toughness, and a whole lot of skill looked weak, slow, and timid.

Cake Eaters.

Game 4 is tonight and we need a performance worthy of only the words used to describe white athletes; blue collar, tough minded, gritty, students of the game (huh?)etc...

Get some tonight boys. Hawks 3-2.

I'm Mad Confused

So I'm watching Baseball Tonight last evening when they bring on talking heads Bobby Valentine and Aaron Boone to try and drain whatever baseball knowledge the viewers have left have and I gotta say I'm even more confused than usual. Over the course of 10 minutes all the talking heads agreed that moving Carlos Zambrano to the bullpen was not only the right move for the time, but a potentially beneficial move in the long run as well.

Let's digest. A $91 million pitcher; your ace, an all-star, and perennial 17 game winner has been shaky to start the season so the manager decides to send him to the bullpen and people view this as a good thing? Once again, moving your ace to the bullpen to make room for a pitcher coming off the DL is a good thing? How? In what context could that be construed as a good thing? Please, someone explain to me.

It isn't. The guy is a stud and his track record demonstrates that a couple shaky performances in freaking April is not grounds for making a drastic move such as this. Get him back up on the mound, spend some dough on a real relief pitcher and let the rest of the 16,000 games this season play out. Get your head out of your ass management.

Watch BG Destroy

Tonight is the NFL draft and I love watching my boys get paid. Watch BG stack cheddar as an all around good guy gets what is rightfully his. My best guess is that the 49's grab him if he's around at 17. Dude's a freak, and of course, has great pedigree. UMich aye day.

Mullet... Its the new Playoff beard.

Serious play at the plate.

I'm not quite sure the announcer knows what hes talking about as he describes what happened earlier in the inning.  Nonetheless, great play at the plate.

Well That Was Painless

(it was beautiful, if only for a second)

Thursday at The Masters came and went and man what a let down. I was on record as saying that Tiger would either win or miss the cut completely, no T-35th this week, and it looks like now it's win or bust for me. But the story really isn't the effortless 68 that included two eagles and is his first sub 70 round ever at Augusta on a Thursday. It isn't about how Tom Watson could even think about contending in a major where the players aren't afforded the luxary of a cart. 008 Fred Couples? No no, a story for a different day.

The story here is, what, if anything, just happened? How could everything have been so normal?

I had to pinch myself a few times while watching yesterday just to make sure everything was straight. I mean, Tiger tee'd off; made a couple eagles, a couple sour faces, there were a couple tips of the hat. There were cheers and big crowds; a tee shot right of right, and a 50 yard sweeping hook out of the trees that only the Dodger could have showed him. I was almost certain that after the missed four footer on 18 Mr. Scotty Cameron would have to whip up something new like ASAP, and even that is relatively routine. Afterwards he went to speak with Mike Tirico where over the course of 2 and a half minutes he said absolutely 0 of substance, and sounded great saying it. Even when Tirico asked what was different, Tiger replied, "nothing, felt the same." You're joking?

I don't know but like, where was the drunk girl streaking the fairway with the marry me Tiger sign? I wanted to see Stevie Williams shattering cameras and yelling at people to shut up. What about the little kids with signs over their heads that read, "Tiger you ruined my life," while their parents screamed, "who is my kid supposed to look up to now," and sobbed uncontrollably? I was at the very least hoping for a look at the Moral High Ground Club tent sponsored by Accenture. My only reward was some two bit pilot with a stupid sign flying 7,000 feet above the crowd, 50% of which are too old to see, on a partly cloudy day.

If Tiger wins everyone will remark how this whole ordeal has liberated him and blah blah no chance. Eldrick was still winning tournaments while skippin' around on Elin with the frequency of a cheap hand radio. If he doesn't win it won't matter; he's been away for a while and has some leverge with the rust card. On top of that, his opening round was monumental in silencing the question of the level of his game and overall state of mind. In one round, and a couple of practice rounds, the cheers and encouragement have silenced the jeers and banter in a way that is sure to bring a smile to the face of Hester Prynne. Tiger played golf, Tiger played golf well, lots of people cheered. Again, too normal.

Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson are on the first page of the leaderboard at a major. Check. A couple of stellar opening rounds from old guys have made outsiders question if golf really is a sport again. Check. And here I was the whole time hoping I would have something good to write about. Eldrick Tiger, you made a fool of me.

NCAA Championship Preview

Cherish tonight folks, cherish it. Baseball season has come which means the De facto end of sports until college football begins the last weekend in August. The NBA playoffs are too long; the NHL's don't receive nearly enough coverage, and sadly my precious golf will likely see its majors reduced to the Tiger Woods unnecessary apology tour, as he tries to make good with the portion of soccer mom nation still clinging to the notion that, "this isn't the Tiger Woods I knew." On a positive note, the word from Augusta is that at this time the Azaleas seem to be indifferent.

Tonight's national championship pits the two "bests" against each other. On one side, Duke, the best team. On the other, Butler, the media-approved best story. Butler can become the first non-major conference program to take the title since Tark the Shark lead UNLV to the 1990 crown. Ironically, UNLV beat a lesser known Coach K and surprise Duke team that year. 20 years later, and 10 final 4's and 3 national title's later for Duke, things have come full circle.

Duke

It's been a while since Duke has had a legit claim to being the premier team in college ball, but this Duke team is nothing like the teams post 2005. This team can bang. Duke took it to WVA for 40 minutes behind; the versatility of Singler, basketball IQ of Scheyer, pure ability of Nolan Smith, and flat out hustle of Thomas, Zoubek, and the Plumlees. Duke will break you down outside, and then wear you down inside. While they still lack a true interior scorer, Duke has proven that with defense and outstanding offensive rebounding they can beat you, even on nights where one of the big 3 isn't on. Duke is peaking, 13-1 since the addition of Zoubek into the starting lineup, and as they are also void of a lottery pick on the roster I'd say this is one of K's finer coaching jobs.

Duke is the better team but they'll have to match the intensity of Butler early to prevent Conseco Field House from imploding. Duke doesn't get the neutral fans, and with Butler's campus a knock down 6 iron from downtown Indy...well...Duke is playing a road game for its shot at the National Title. In order to win, 2 of their big 3 must produce and Zoubek, Thomas, Et al. must stay out of foul trouble early. The longer this game stays a game, the better chance Butler has of winning.

Butler

David, Cinderella, Rocky, Rudy, Hoosiers, underdog, mid-major, Charlie Conway, whatever. Everyone needs to reLAX.

Butler is no Cinderella. The Bulldogs were perfect in conference play and won 25 in a row heading into the tournament. After now having sent Syracuse, Kansas State, and Michigan State on spring break, it's just stupid to call them anything other than damn good. Where Butler lacks being able to win multiple types of games, i.e. adapting to a different style of play, they excel at forcing you to play theirs. Butler has yet to give up 60 or more points in the tournament and advanced to the title game on a night where they shot 15 of 49 from the floor.

In order to win, the duo of Howard and Hayward must produce to their averages. Howard suffered a minor concussion when his eyes unfortunately met those of Lupe Izzo's, but I think he'll be good to go come tonight. Shelvin Mack is also a big key to the game and it will be interesting to see if he is responsible for keeping Nolan Smith out of the lane. Butler needs to force Duke into the half court and play a low scoring game similar to their last few. Obviously Butler will need to shoot it better than in their Final 4 performance, but realistically it will be more about keeping the Devils from owning the glass and hoping that Duke has a subpar night from long range.

Championship Rant

Butler is more than happy to play the underdog role, and entitled to it, but it is clear that Coach K is using the OMG everybody hates us mentality, as clear by the recent ESPN article by Eammon Brennan. While the Duke hate is by and large absurd, K claiming, "We're never going to lose because we have too many people patting us on the back," is equally absurd. Duke might not be a darling of the masses, but they could play Middle Tennessee State's women's team and ESPN would televise it. Dick Vitale literally gets off when he hears the word "Cameron" and Jay Bilas is one of the main talking heads in all of college basketball. Duke isn't hurting for attention, and as anyone who followed Lane Kiffin at Tennessee can now tell you, all press is good press. I'm not saying I don't see where he is coming from, yea OK people hate Duke that's understood, but you still have it prettttttty, pretttttttty, prettty good.

What's Gonna Happen
(not legally binding)

In a case such as this I always defer to the more compelling storyline. Butler being small blah blah let's get to the juice.

Is Butler Coach Brad Stevens the love child of Pee-wee Herman and Matthew Broderick?

Was Coach K created in the image of the Duke Blue Devil?

I can't blame Stevens for being a love child product; if you were Broderick and woke up next to Sarah Jessica Parker everyday you would elope with Herman too. In the case of coach compelling-ness where the outcome is too close to call I generally revert back to which team is actually better. In that case I'll go with Duke behind the Chi-pure stroke of Jon Scheyer. Chi Erry Day.

Duke 71 - Butler 62

Check Out Our Sports Page: Contributing to the Demise of Sports Journalism Since April 3rd, 2010

Blast Off! Hide the children and tighty secure muzzles on the women, it's time to talk sports. As this is my first post I want to thank the Dodger and Ty Clutterbuck for granting me this outlet to vent my sports knowledge? (meh) / dementia? (def) etc... I hope to contribute in ways that don't include housing Ty for weeks at a time, or anything that ends with "you know, a little something over the jeans," but I digress...

The content is going to be scattered, so instead of telling you what will be on here, I'll just give you a taste of what I like and what I don't and overall just a general feeling for things on my mind.

GOOD

BAD

...IRRELEVANT

So ya, you'll definitely get your Big10 fix but I'll be touching on everything from Tiger to the Timberwolves; the SEC to CBS, the Mitchell Report to the reporting demise, and anything else that strikes a nerve.

Britton B Update: There's no clutter without the buck.